There is something about the return of an old favourite, a band that took a hiatus at a time when I felt I too needed a hiatus from music. I've been anticipating their return ever since they did a 10-year tour and announced a new album. So this post is mostly me re-listening to Fightstar's latest album 'Behind The Devil's Back' and free-writing as the album plays.
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It's funny the way life almost forces you to associate things/moments in your life with music and does that thing that all the #tbt or #flashbackfriday can never do--like actually take you back to feeling what it was like back then, beyond just visual images. These are moments you can almost touch in your gut.
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What is it about the movement of noise to harmony that pleases me so?
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In this album, I see a mess of guitar cords on the floor in a practice studio; sitting on the floor scribbling progressions on pieces of yellow pad as songs are pieced together; and those dark, dodgy bars and chugging down a glass (or two) of rum & coke before going on stage. Ages 21-24 were such a wonderfully musical year in my life and I'll always love it. I wrote a lot, performed even more, and actually got to feel incredibly free.
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There's a downside to everything though. In those years, I remember always being in a state of needing to remember, brought about by over-indulging on alcohol--something that started from the need (or perhaps more like 'want') to portray a certain lifestyle that matched the songs that I was listening to and writing. Back then of course I never thought of it that way. I just thought of all the fun I was having. You see things differently when you're 29.
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There's a progression in this album that feeds my 'pop-loving' self. Play the track 'Overdrive' and focus on the beat.
She said, honey does this road lead anywhere?
Cause anywhere is fine if I'm with you
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I had a dream quite recently. There was a show and I was supposed to play something at that show--some song I had recently written coupled with a few old songs from Fairlight Madison. When it's my turn to set-up, I look down to see my fingers fumbling over the guitar strings. I turn to plug something into the amp and it crumbles. I look off-stage and I see familiar faces shrug back at me. This could perhaps be my dream manifesting that inner-annoying-panicky mood I get into whenever I think of the things that I've stopped doing.
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They came for our trust
Then they came for us
Let all our ghosts lie, it's over
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I think it's less about reminiscing and wanting to have it all back but more about understanding that sometimes you move on from things, that you do have to give up certain elements in your life to make way for new experiences. That whole give-and-take. It may not be ideal; but in the end it's all about perspective.
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If you want a primer on Fightstar (aka listen to the songs that made me fall in love with them), I've made a playlist on Spotify.